The Truth Is

The truth is when
you say something aloud
and it doesn't sound right

It's knowing that
some things are borrowed
and some are stolen

You borrow time,
money, and love
that you don't intend to return

I hear it like crystals,
like breaking glass
all those pretty, shattered things

I said them out-
loud and slow
and let them cut

You borrow life
because you don't know
how to to make your own

The truth is,
I'll say it now-
I knew you were a thief

The Exception

We read poetry in bed- once.
I built a mountain on that moment.
Always mistaking the exception as the rule.
You know I love when you make an appearance- no matter how brief-in the now.

When you forget your wounds and your worries.
You kiss me like you know this is good.
Like you know it is enough.
But that is the exception and not the rule.
So 'enough' I said.
Enough now.
I want nothing short of now, and no drop less than all.

Jane Austen would tell you

~

Jane Austen would tell you that you don't get to pick

what your heroine is wearing while she is rescuing you

Do not concern yourself with the flow of her hair

or the shade of her complexion

Concern yourself with what that woman does

how she shelters you when others would leave 

Concern yourself with her kindness and warmth

with her presence in every moment

Have no eyes for the looks of others

or give a moment to what they might think

Of a woman, soft 

who carries a sword

But praise her

and keep her just as she's kept you







~

It's no matter

All anyone wants
Is to be learned
Boy, I read you
All War and no Peace
You like a lot of fire
And a little fight
It's killing you
But you love the smoke
That old familiar burn
Of unpredictability

Will I be there tomorrow?
Most likely but
You like me best
In someone else's eyes
Do I taste sweeter
From just out of reach?
You have lies
And I have secrets
It's no matter, love
Both fit in your bed

Fuck the timing

This is life-

scrubbing out the dwelling of a dead fish

instead of making dinner for two.

The store said that fish die because of timing-

people putting them in a new tank too soon

before the water has a chance to settle.

The stubborn part of me thinks

that Ol' Red just wasn't a strong fish

and couldn't hack it.

I'm tired of timing being the

answer to all things

that have gone wrong.

Because I have yet to find

a moment when the timing

was right.

It's been many years since

anything that mattered 

aligned.

And so I think that

this year I'm going to stop looking

at clocks and circumstances.

I'm going to close my eyes to the seasons

and made up reasons

for why nothing works.

I'm going to walk swiftly in the direction of 

what I want

whether it's dark or day.

And I'm going to say

as I wish others had before:

Fuck the timing.

You know the game

I'm naive in all the ways I choose to be
But I have friends that keep me grounded
A little dirt is good for the soul
I've swallowed my share

Crooks are always cloaked in kindness
You have a smile that could sell dust
You showed me a little heaven
Then gave me all your hell

Did you pick me because
I can turn vinegar to rain?
I know you're thirsty, love
But you're too damned to drink

I laid it all out
Every card in my hand
Each one a heart
To your black, old spades

Whoever said that love wins
Has never played cards
With the cold, blue eyes
Of a stubborn man

Sometimes, maybe, but...

Sometimes when I want to play lover I end up playing mother.

Maybe the roles I play in people's lives

won't always be of my choosing.

Maybe I should love without hope and without plan.

Maybe I run just to feel my lungs sting

and to see the green again.

Maybe I sing just to let it out.

Maybe I write just to tell the truth, because some ears aren't ready.  

But I can be easy on the eyes.

Sometimes I can see what could be, what could have been.

Maybe the past and future are staring each other down

and creating now.

Maybe now knows something I don't.

Maybe it knows all the things you keep from me.

Maybe it knows the name of your hesitation.

Maybe her eyes are a better shade of brown 

and her scars fit yours.

But I'm plenty broken even when I smile.

Sometimes I feel like I've almost solved the puzzle.

Maybe it's time to admit that I don't trust you
and you don't trust your feelings.

Maybe you feel more than you say.

Maybe you know I'll do right by you.

Maybe that's what love is,

and it's just not enough.

Maybe you still like a little pain with your promises.

But I only know how to heal.

Twenty-nine

I'm twenty-nine.

Half married, half free.

I get my heart broken every couple months now

instead of every couple days.

I'm impatient in love,

but my mom was dying at my age.

I'm twenty-nine.

A friend said that I look like a pin-up girl, 

and that I know it.  He said I take

that knowledge and wield it like a sword.

Maybe I've just stopped hating my body,

and began loving french fries and bourbon.

I'm twenty-nine.

I like my music and my love loud.

I don't always do my dishes

or fold my clothes.

But I pay the rent,

and I like a good mess.

I'm twenty-nine.

I still pray when I hear sirens.

I'm naive. And skeptical.

I want to take you at your word,

but words aren't gold to everyone.

Just to poets and lawyers.

I'm twenty-nine.

I always know what I want.

It only scares people

stuck in the past

and focused on tomorrow.

I'm here now.

Twenty-nine.

Dead by May

Let me tell you, there are serpents among us.
That girl hides venom in a call.
She injects it into memories.
I can feel it in your cold hands and stiff arms.
I can feel it like a sickness.
A little poison can infect the whole thing.
But keep drinking it.
Keep letting her hiss, love.
And you'll be dead by May.

My sisters, until now

My sisters,
We've worn these faces for far too long.
A furrowed brow and lines run over.
Strong as any miner's hand
with secrets dark as their work day.
Light, reach for light.
We've breathed the black.
We've suffocated in the carbon
of heated exhales.
You know we have.
Words burned like fire into our ears, minds, souls.
But breathe clean.
We answer to the beating of our own hearts,
and ours only.
They can't touch tomorrow.
Smile, sisters.
They won't touch tomorrow.
We've got blues skies and new beginnings.
Just like our mothers prayed for
and that we've dared not hope,
until now.

Island no more

I've been an island
All these years
No one's reached these shores
No one's sifted sand
To find what's hidden there

But you would not be blown
By my winds wailing
Or by the tide rolling in
You would not be scared
By this siren's warning

And so I will not tire
Of warming you with sun high
Or by moon full and
Sparkling over waters smooth
As worn sea glass

Come into my shores
Walk bare feet upon my sand
Dig in, my love
Stay, my dear
Anchored to me

Today

Mondays, 

she thought, were for new beginnings.  

They were for forgetting the mess of who she was the week before.  

She would sit very straight and shed everything that felt like shadow.  

Every dark spot that said she was a victim of circumstance.  

She would let them fall into her coffee, and swallow them with sugar. 

And at the bottom of her empty cup she'd see a woman she didn't quite recognize.  

Her name is Today. 

14 Words for Love 2014

This year's contributions to the 14 Words for Love Project:




Poetry is
your voice whispering
"Beautiful..."
and my heart hearing it
as if new
-----------

She turned water into wine
and poured herself out
And she'll do it again
-----------

My love,
May you find a woman
worth running after.
Sorry it wasn't me.
----------

Warm eyes and kind words
Leave little to regret
Let love be these moments
----------

I wrote love in letters
Poured it in bowls
Tucked it in your pillow
----------

Most people can get through a day
on just a compliment and a question.
----------

Love is a six year old
emptying his piggy bank
for kids with cancer
----------

Love with the intensity of impending death
Few are brave enough
Few are ready
----------

She asked when
He said wait
But a gypsy doesn't understand
love without urgency
----------

Someday is an impossible fate
when we are only now
this skin, this moment
----------

Love comes in degrees
and stays in fragments
Still can't throw away your toothbrush
----------

For every lonely moment
I have a few good friends
Filling spaces you didn't
----------

I've lived long enough to know
the difference between
admiration and presence
is love
----------

Her feet make their own paths
Walking away from apathy 
They run toward love
----------

I like presence:
words on lips
skin on skin
intention to action.
Now, love.
----------

My second chances always come
when I have been brave enough to walk away.

My love

My love,
let's be 18 again.
I promise to go to your house this time.
I'll let you untie the strings of my friendship bracelets.
I'll leave them there on your night stand.
I'll leave them there with my heart and all the love youth can give-
which is infinite.
Every last drop of 'yes'.
All the intention of 'we'.
The very hope of 'can'.

She's a vessel

She's a vessel

A curving vase

Hard like stone, thin as glass

With just drops left in the bottom

But somehow she turns that water

into wine and

pours herself out

Oh, she'll fill your glass up

But don't get drunk and lazy

on her love

I'm warning you

Don't get too comfortable with 

a fragile-strong thing

Don't get careless

Or you're liable to break her

How cruel

I'd write a book about you, but I'm fairly certain it'd burn itself.
Possessing your poison and fire-
all the words you've spat at me.
My blood would be there on every page.
Because I'm still dealing with your demons-
all lips and daggers.
But that's my fault, darling.
How cruel I was to stay so long.
How cruel I was to walk away-
from the absence of love.

Today I am pink

Today I am pink.
I am brand new-
like babies,
like love.
Women, if you cannot
smile at the curve of your own neck-
at the strength in your legs,
don't ask anyone to do it for you.

Be new.
Unfold the essence you've so neatly put away.
Uncrumple every word you've hidden
for fear of being heard.
Unslouch that spine
for fear of being seen.
Make eye contact.
Dear god, let people see you!
Even if it hurts.