I won't

I won't chase you
but if you put your sneakers on
I'll stop running
I'll stand real still
I'll let you catch up

But you better be wearing a smile
and speaking softly
Make it worth the waiting, love
Make it worth the worrying, dear
Make it worth the wanting, babe

Because if there's anything I'm good at
it's running
If there's anything I'm fine with, it's hiding
If there's anything I'm afraid of, it's fighting
If there's anything I'm hoping for, it's love

I don't know where to look
so I keep my eyes wide
I'm always surprised by sweetness
I'm always caught off guard by kindness
I'm always grateful for both

Don't make me regret
the scenic route
I prefer a little wind
I like a little speed
I want to feel my heart race, but...

I won't chase you

Peace

A little transparency, please

We're all a bit broken, a bit tattered

Oh, we're worn right through, darlings

Maybe that's what has been happening

They can't see us, just through us

But you know the sun shines more 

In the spring

I'm predicting good weather for this year

And that light's going to hit our strong spots

Just right, just right

They'll see we've been standing all along

Still as stained glass

Fragile, beautiful, and pieced together with lead

We're the stuff churches are made of

If you'll sing, I'll sing, too

We'll sing love, love, love

But most of all, peace

Your skin

Your skin belongs with my skin
I want to know the story of every scar
Take me to the summer of each freckle
I'll trace your lines, the width of your arms,
the length of your spine
Slide along your legs and creep each rib
with my sneaking fingers
Knowing that every inch my lips touch
is mine

Your gaze

I've run out of words for the exact
intensity of your gaze.
My breath betrays the peace in my heart
at the smallest uttering of your voice
in my ear.
And did I tell you I hope of sunrises
from our shared pillow?
Did I say that all night seems
light to me when you're near?
The moon glows at sight of
your skin and mine
mingling.
If I could share every song with you-
experience it through
the curl of your lips, the squint of your eyes-
my love, I'd be very happy, indeed.
When that blue and perfect gaze
shifts upon me,
I am whole.

Dust.

Oh, when it rains it pours.
Why don't y'all come out of the woodwork now?
Make my floor boards creak, you ghosts and shadows.
I'm not scared of you,
but there you go hiding again.
Under my bed, in the back of my mind.
I look in your direction,
and it's too much light-
for you.
And that's how I like it.
Bring me your memories, your should ofs, your didn'ts.
Let's put them on the shelf, love.
Let's call them what they are.
Dust.

Hush.

Hush.
So you aren't enough.
So you're too much.
So the timing is wrong.
It's not you, darlin'.
It never was about you.
Hush.
Someday someone's going see you.
Someday you'll be shining.
Someday you'll be all right, alright?
Just as you are, darlin'.
Just as you've always been.

Now hush.

Walk tall, walk strong.
Walk like you've got long legs.
Walk far, walk on.
You're gonna get nowhere running, darlin'.
You're gonna get nowhere crying.
Hush.
So the bad comes knocking.
So the good days are too few.
So it's not what you imagined.
Cling to hope, darlin'.
Cling to those little rays of light.
Hush.

Kind words on a hard night from the best man I know

"Mom, I love you whatever you're feeling like.  If you're happy or sad, I still love you. Ok?"

"I'm proud of you, because I love you."

"You're my favorite, because you're the best mom in the world."

Isaac Loucks,

You are love itself.  You make me proud every moment.  You are wise beyond your six years.  You fill holes, love.  You fill darkness with light.  Always.  Always, love.  I'm proud of you, and I'm grateful for your support when I feel like a crying child.  Sometimes I feel like God sent you to raise me.  Sometimes I feel like He sent you to love me.  And sometimes I feel like you are the best man I know.

I love you,

Mom